God's Divine Plan: Because Free Will Isn't For Everyone

In a world brimming with unpredictability and chaos, it's no wonder that we often question the nature of our existence. Why do things happen the way they do? Are we mere pawns in the grand cosmic game of life? Well, dear mortals, I have an amusing theory to entertain you today. What if God, in His infinite wisdom, simply doesn't trust us with free will? That's right, the divine plan is in place because He knows we'd just make a mess of things if left to our own devices.

Picture this: you're strolling through the corridors of heaven, eagerly awaiting your turn to enter the "Free Will Conference Room." You're excited, feeling empowered, and ready to shape the world according to your desires. But just as you reach for the door handle, it swings open, revealing a celestial janitor who politely informs you that God has decided to stick with the divine plan. "Sorry, pal," he says, "but it seems free will isn't in the cards for you."

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At first, you might feel a pang of disappointment. After all, who wouldn't want the ability to mold their destiny like a potter shapes clay? But then it hits you: God, in His all-knowing wisdom, has a point. Imagine the chaos that would ensue if everyone had free will! The mere thought of it sends shivers down your celestial spine.

Consider the countless instances in human history where the collective decisions of mortals have led to disastrous consequences. Wars fought over religious disagreements, political systems corrupted by greedy men of God, and fashion trends that make you cringe in hindsight. It's as if humanity has an uncanny knack for taking a perfectly good idea and running it straight into the ground.

So, perhaps God, decided to spare us from ourselves. He knew that if we were given unrestricted freedom to shape the world, we'd end up creating an unruly spectacle that even the most seasoned divine beings would struggle to comprehend. And isn't a divine plan that includes the Great Flood and killing Himself/Jesus so that He isn't too angry with us make much more sense?

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Just imagine the mess we'd make. People would use their free will to eat ice cream for breakfast, wear socks with sandals, and even worse—think they could dance when clearly they couldn't. Chaos would reign supreme. 

Instead, God decided to stick with the divine plan. It's like a well-choreographed dance of people getting cancer, predatory capitalism, and war. He knows precisely how to balance joy and sorrow, love and loss, success and failure. It's a beautifully orchestrated symphony where each note harmonizes perfectly with the next, creating a masterpiece that only the divine mind can fathom.

So, my dear friends, let us embrace the divine plan with open arms. While we may occasionally yearn for the freedom to steer our own ship and escape His divine mercy/love/anger/hatred we should trust in His guidance. After all, we don't have a choice about it in the first place.